Aref N. Dajani

I advocate for a binational state from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. A binational state does not destroy the ethnic character of anyone. It celebrates the ethnic character of everyone.

Full disclosure: I do not actually advocate MERELY for a binational state, as there is nothing “bi” about us. I advocate for a state that embraces — and not merely tolerates — all of its ethnic and religious minorities from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea.

I’m including the tri-lingual Samaritans (Hebrew, Arabic, and Aramaic) whose world center is Mount Gerzim above the city of Nablus with zero attachment to Jerusalem, the trilingual Bahá’ís (Hebrew, Arabic, and Farsi) whose world center is Mount Carmel above the city of Haifa with zero attachment to Jerusalem, the Druze who self-identify as Arab — their faith tradition is so, um, esoteric(?) that I have no clue what cities are most sacred to them, and the ancient Armenian community that cannot in any way be considered either Arab nor Jew, so ancient that a non-negligible quarter of the Old City of Jerusalem is named after them.

There is one and only one ethnic minority in the Holy Land whom I do NOT embrace: ethnic Russians who do not self-identify as Jews, whether by ethnicity nor faith, yet enjoy the benefits of first-class citizenship in Israel. Russians, Jewish and non-Jewish together, comprise 15% of Israel today, but many of them, far too many of them, do not self-identify as Jews. I’m talking about those Russians who have built gleaming Russian Orthodox churches because they do not want to pray with the Palestinian Christians, most of whom are Greek Orthodox.

When pro-Zionists wax poetic about the “Jewish character of Israel”, how in any way do Russian Orthodox Christians contribute to the “Jewish character of Israel”? Please enlighten me.

When I entered Ben Gurion airport on my self-funded birthright tour several years ago, there were only three languages posted on flight arrivals and departures: Hebrew, English, and Russian. For those Russians who made Aliyah and self-identify as Jews, I have zero problem with them. Seriously!

Far too many Russians who made Aliyah do not self-identify as Jews, whether by ethnicity nor faith. One example would someone whose PATERNAL grandFATHER happened to be a Jew. Said grandson would be out of compliance with the halacha (Jewish version of “shari’ah”) definition of a Jew.

With them, I have a major problem. A monumental, non-resolvable pet peeve. The Chief Rabbi of Israel estimates that 400,000 ethnic Russian Israeli citizens of Israel are not Jews…by Jewish Law. Note that I’m saying Jewish Law as opposed to Israeli Law.

If anyone is destroying the “Jewish character of Israel”, it ain’t Palestinians, especially when Israel embraces Palestinian culture and traditions hook, line, and sinker, especially at the dinner table. Heck, I have seen Jews engage in zaghareed (high-pitched ululating) when young Jews arrive from all over the world arrive to take birthright tours.

Who are destroying the “Jewish character of Israel” today? Russian citizens of Israel who do not self-identify as Jews, whether by ethnicity nor faith. If pro-Zionists don’t see that truth for themselves, then maybe they should explain how it benefits Israel to bring in so many Russian non-Jews.

• Is it really, truly family unification if the non-Jews are building churches? (Shh, have their Jewish family members never told them what the Talmud says about Mary…and who Jesus’s father actually was?!)
• Is it that the politics of the non-Jewish Russians are in line with some political parties more than others and are flown in to bolster those parties, like how former PM Begin reached out to the Mizrahim to bolster the Israeli right?
• Or is it that their complexion and eye colors are more compatible with the Israel that pro-Zionists want to project its nation-state, like how Paul Newman was cast to look like one would expect an “Ari Ben Canaan” to look?
  
  Here are some numbers out of the often apocryphal source Wikipedia. Tell me whether you believe that those who are not Halachically Jewish contribute to the Jewish character of Israel once you yourself see the numbers.
  
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russians_in_Israel#Religion
  
  Onto my vision for peace.
  
  # # #

My vision of peace is the realization of two aspirations of Rabbi Hillel the Elder that he made 2,000 years ago in Jerusalem:

“Whatever is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.”

“If I am not for myself, then who am I? And if I am only for myself, then what am I? And if not now, when?”

These aspirations are universal. The word “Jew” is found nowhere in these quotes.

Starting with Quote #1: Let us really, truly consider what is hateful to us. #1 on the list should be dispossession: a horrific experience ingrained deeply in both the Jewish and Palestinian narrative. One we collectively detest. It is egregiously inflicted by Jews on Palestinians today. It is also an experience that far too many Palestinians want to inflict on Jews in the future, supposedly in the name of Justice.

Two wrongs do not make a right. Because others displaced Jews in the past, that should not mean that Jews should displace Palestinians today. The Nakba continues to this day.

Three wrongs also do not make a right. Palestinians displacing Jews in the future does not “balance the books”. It does not “set the record straight”. It is simply…wrong.

We cannot return to an idyllic past, whether it is the Palestine of pre-Balfour. Or the Kingdom of David.

Our past, present, and legacy are together. Tomorrow can be much better than today. Or yesterday.

#2 on the list should be discrimination. Something that Jews experienced pretty much everywhere in Diaspora, a main reason they sought self-determination in a place that the UK magnanimously(?) carved out for them. We Palestinians did not face the same type of discrimination under any previous colonial entity pre-Balfour than we did under first the British, then later Israel.

The Ottomans were very much into retaining local control and autonomy, so long as they received their tax revenues in Constantinople. Fun fact: the name of the city did not change to Istánbul until the 1930s, well after the Ottomans were gone.

Fun fact #2: Palestine was not the only piece of land carved out for Jews. Twenty years before Israel declared independence, the Soviet Union magnanimously(?) carved out the Jewish Autonomous Oblast, along part of its border with China. It remains on the books to this day as an Autonomous Oblast of Russia. It may not be an independent nation-state, yet overflows with Jewish character. The Oblast’s two official languages are Yiddish and Russian (not Hebrew? Hmm.) AND in 2007 built the world’s largest chanukia.

Though it does not have all the autonomy of a Russian republic, say like Chechnya, it is the only place in the world with “Jewish” in its name. Even Israel cannot say that!

JAO; Russian: Евре́йская автоно́мная о́бласть, Yevreyskaya avtonomnaya oblast (ЕАО); Yiddish: ייִדישע אװטאָנאָמע געגנט, yidishe avtonome gegnt; [jɪdɪʃɛ avtɔnɔmɛ ɡɛɡnt]

Israel: the State of Israel (מְדִינַת יִשְׂרָאֵל, Medīnat Yīsrāʾēl; دَوْلَة إِسْرَائِيل, Dawlat ʾIsrāʾīl)

We need to end Dispossession, now and forever. We need to end Discrimination, now and forever. In the name of Peace. And in the name of Justice.

Moving on to Quote #2:

We have Palestinians who are pro-Jewish and anti-Zionist. Probably most Palestinians reading this are. Heck, many if not most Jews reading this probably are as well.

We have Jews who are pro-Palestinian and anti-armed resistance. Probably most Jews reading this are. Heck, many if not most Palestinians reading this are all well.

Our #1 conflict is in identity. Who is a Jew? Who is a Palestinian?

Palestinians by and large have zero conflict with Jews who made Aliyah from Arab countries and are still willing to acknowledge their Arab heritage to this day. When Palestinians talk about “settler colonialists”, they are almost certainly talking about Ashkenazi Jews, with my own personal venom directed toward gun-toting Haredi settlers.

Jews by and large have zero conflict with “good Arabs”: those who keep their heads down and know their place in Israeli society. They especially embrace Palestinian Zionists, the poster child of whom is Nusseir Yassin, the host of the vlog Nas Daily who, not surprisingly, owns a flat in the “settlement” of Rawabi.

For the record, Palestinians are not only those who live today in the West Bank and the Gaza Strip. Palestinians live on the ground from the Jordan River to the Mediterranean Sea. Whether they self-identify as Palestinians is immaterial. We are not defined by faith, language, or ethnicity. Palestinians are very much open tent, defined only by geography. When one uses the phrase “Palestinian Arab”, yes of course they’re talking ethnicity.

When one says Palestinian, I smile and respond that our mother has arms broad enough to embrace all of us. When one cries out “Free Palestine”, I seek a place that is Free for all of us, including Palestinians who live on the Israeli side of the Green Line and Jews who live on the Palestinian side of the Green Line. Where there will no longer be a Green Line.

Palestinians are who Palestinians are, whether they feel safe self-identifying as such. This phenomenon does not only happen among Palestinians with Israeli citizenship. This applies to one of my own first cousins who lives in the Gulf today. He teaches his kids never to self-identify as Palestinian, but in the nation where they live. This despite that his eclectic branch of the Dajani family is very fair skinned and (brace yourself) has red hair and freckles!

We Palestinians come in all shapes, sizes, and colors!!

In deference to Rabbi Hillel, my vision of peace is when we are not only for ourselves and not only for those “others” whom we find tasteful and acceptable. I am for all Jews, even those that most of my brethren consider “settler colonialist”. All I ask is that they put down the guns. I am not for anyone who displaces others, whether they are Zionist nor anyone else.

I am anti-Zionist for one simple reason: I am anti-privilege. In regrettably far too many circles, that immediately brands me anti-Palestinian as well, especially among those who (at least to me, shockingly) advocate for a Palestine with a state religion of Islam. That goes not 100% but 1000% against my advocacy for a binational state.

That means that I would like to see Jews move into the towns and cities of the West Bank AND Gaza and find peace, security, community, and camaraderie there. I do not want to see Jews be second-class citizens when they live in communities that are predominantly (non-Jewish) Palestinian.

Re-open Shuhada Street! Let Khalil/Hebron be whole! Let all the Holy Land be whole!

At the same time, I want to see Jews become pro-Palestinian and for Palestinians to enjoy first-class citizenship wherever they live: anywhere on the ground between the River and the Sea and anywhere they live in Diaspora.

A binational state does not destroy the ethnic character of anyone. It celebrates the ethnic character of everyone.

The only thing a binational state ends is Privilege.

We need to end Statelessness TODAY. And there is a simple way to get the ball rolling.

Every last country that signed treaties with Israel needs to make their stateless Palestinian community citizens, even if second-class citizens with disgustingly unequal rights, TODAY. If Israel can grant disgustingly unequal, second-class citizenship to Palestinians, gimme a good reason why the UAE cannot do likewise, especially as they signed a treaty with Israel.

I am picking on the UAE for statistical reasons and I am a day-job statistician. The UAE prides itself that only 10% of the people living there are citizens. The rest they call “guest workers”. Generations of Palestinians are born there, never to become citizens, no matter how much they claim allegiance. An eight-year old Palestinian living in Dubai is no “guest worker”!

Not a guest. Not a worker.

https://files.institutesi.org/worldsstateless.pdf#page=132

For my brethren Palestinians, not being “only for ourselves” means that we should stand in solidarity with all stateless people all over the world. The Kurds first and foremost come to mind. The full document whose link is above was eye-opening for me. The more we stand with others, the more others will stand with us.

NOT Fun Fact: The first nations/indigenous peoples of what is today the United States of America were awarded both U.S. citizenship and the right to vote after both men of African heritage and later women of any other non-native heritage were awarded with those rights.

The more that Palestinians in Diaspora enjoy first-class citizenship wherever they live, the less likely they will seek Aliyah to the land today called Israel and Palestine. Of course, they will want to visit AND want the Right to Make Aliyah. But actually making Aliyah if they enjoy FIRST-class citizenship elsewhere? Not so likely.

Millions upon millions of Jews live in Diaspora today. They CHOOSE not to make Aliyah though they have the Right to do so. With Israeli citizenship upon arrival.

My vision of peace? Implement the words of Rabbi Hillel the Elder from 2000 years ago. And make our divided land whole.

I bought my first new car in over twenty years! For my own chronicling and your amusement: here are the five cars I have ever owned.

1. Isuzu I-Mark. Metallic sky blue, similar in color to this one. Bought brand new, just before starting my first-ever full-time job at the age of 21…at the U.S. Census Bureau, where I continue to work today. Died when the transmission made it no longer possible to drive forward. (It drove in reverse just fine!). Name of the car: Yentastinoz, a conglomeration of Yiddish, Italian, and Poorly Spelled English. Props to any of you who can figure out why I gave it that name.

2. Geo Prizm (same as a Toyota Corolla when Toyota was in cahoots with GM). Dark teal. Bought brand new. Donated to the Salvation Army when I came into an inheritance from my grandmother. Name of the car: Azul, Spanish for “blue”, which in turn comes from the Arabic word “Azraq”. I pronounced it using the Arabic (and English) sound for “z”.

3. Toyota Avalon. Gold. Wanted a bigger car. Bought used with 20K miles on it. Died at 199K miles when another car landed on top of it in the garage where I worked…at the U.S. Census Bureau. Name of the car: Augusta Dorada, Spanish for “Golden Augusta”, in honor of my grandmother Augusta Parker Wooster.

Short tribute: Born in Waterloo, Illinois on October 27, 1893, I am a musician today because of her. She bought me my first piano which I own to this day. (I was six years old.) She was an intellect as well, a thesis shy of a Master’s Degree at the University of Chicago in the early 20th century. Her favorite quatrain: “Good, better, best, / Never let it rest, / Until the good is better, / And the better best.”

4. Toyota Avalon. Silver Pine Metallic (light green). Bought used with 40K miles on it. Died at 396K miles(!!!) when I was in a bad auto accident two months ago. I walked out of the car from the accident. I suffered from a broken arm (anterior radius) that required surgery to fix. Name of the car: Rafiki, Swahili for the word “friend”, which in turns comes from the Arabic word “Rafiqi”, which means “my friend.”

5. Toyota Prius, Sea Pearl Metallic (light teal). Bought brand new. With a broken arm, unable to drive, I had a lot of time to think about what kind of car I wanted. I always wanted my fifth car to be all-electric. As my garage is not electrified and do not feel that the electric charging infrastructure is big enough, I suffered from range anxiety. I learned only upon buying the car that there is no room for a spare tire, not even a donut! For anyone reading this post who owns a hybrid or an all-electric, how do you manage flat tire anxiety?!

I originally wanted to name my car “Greenbelt” for three reasons: (1) the car has a green tint to it, (2) being a hybrid it is good for the environment, and (3) nothing screams living in Greenbelt (as I do) more than owning a Prius. (Greenbelt is Progressive in its politics.)

I decided instead to go with another African name, this one from the Nguni language of Southern Africa: Ubuntu. And no, fellow geeks, I am NOT talking about the Debain GNU/Linux based Operating System!

Ubuntu is an ancient philosophy that is all about “behaving well towards others or acting in ways that benefit the community”. I bought this car primarily because its safety features will help mitigate my getting into an accident that killed Rafiki, protecting myself and other cars alike. Ubuntu. I also bought this car because it gets ~50 miles per gallon and is good for the environment. Ubuntu. I also like the name because it has a spiritual component: fostering connections among people. As I am a Sufi, that works for me!

For more on Ubuntu, check out https://www.thoughtco.com/the-meaning-of-ubuntu-43307

I am beyond excited to own a new car. Will Ubuntu live to see 400K miles or more? Stay tuned!

Special props to my salesperson Antony Rozario at DARCARS in Silver Spring (my hometown) for searching a 500 mile radius to bring Ubuntu home to me.

My journey to today’s engagement

Aref Dajani

April 14, 2019

When I was a teenager and so many around me were enjoying romantic exploits, I felt neither attractive nor attracted to anyone.

In my first year of college, I sought out counseling to figure out where I was going in my life. I was encouraged to feel my feelings. I was shocked to realize that I was attracted to men and not women. Was it because I did not like how I felt in my own body? Maybe, but I accepted with zero hesitation that it was how I felt. That feeling terrified me, because I was and am today a practicing Muslim. The way that I was brought up as a Muslim, there was zero tolerance for homosexuality.

Looking for spiritual guidance did not help me find answers, but helped me feel less alone. I taught at the Sunday school where I grew up and was elected to my mosque’s lay Board of Directors at the age of 22, the youngest up to that time. I remained firmly closeted and did not date anyone, even though I was strongly encouraged to get married and have children. I was terrified of getting married, particularly to someone of my religion or ethnicity. I was terrified of what would happen if I would have children and someday, later on, I would decide to live my truth.

One fateful night, I received a phone call that I would never forget. A parent called me to thank me for what a good job I was doing on the Board of Directors, that I was an excellent example for his own children. I hung up the phone, dwelling on “if they only knew”. I pictured torches and pitchforks “if they only knew”. I sank into a deep depression and resigned from the Board after only one year because I felt like a fraud, a hypocrite.

If they only knew.

At my second of three graduate schools, I met the woman who would become my wife. One evening in the first year of my relationship, I came out to her on the steps of Old Main at Penn State University.  She looked confused. “Then why would you want to date me?” For me, it was obvious. “I can’t live as a gay man, not with my family, my religion. Society! I will be faithful for you as long as we are together.”

My ex-wife used to always say that I would take a long time for me to make up my mind, then I would never look back. Four years into our relationship, twenty-five years ago, I finally mustered up the courage to pop the question on a marble bench in a bamboo pavilion in the National Botanical Gardens of the Bahamas in Nassau. All scripted; she had no idea. She said Yes.

In the three years that we were engaged, she tried to break off the engagement twice. If her issue were my sexual orientation, I would not have pushed back. Each time she broke off the engagement, she said it was for two reasons: (a) my family would turn me against her or (b) once married, I would become an Alpha Muslim Male and treat her badly. I knew neither would come true and they did not.

For thirteen years we were married. Though she converted to Islam, my family – except for my mother — rejected her. My mother was the only one in my family who attended my wedding. Thirteen years later, my wife and I amicably ended our marriage, as amicably as any marriage I have ever heard of. Our divorce had zero to do with my family or orientation. During our mandated separation, I decided to live my truth. Slowly, carefully, I came out. At one point, I spent time with a woman, but I knew that my future would be with men.

Seven years ago, I met the man who is now my fiancé. We both had significant emotional baggage which led to many bumps along our journey. He taught me the meaning of commitment when he got my mother into an excellent rehabilitation center for the last four months of her life, comforted me when she passed away, and stood by me every step of the way last summer when I had a craniotomy at Johns Hopkins. He took a month off work to help me heal after the surgery.

The Qur’an condemns those men who lust for other men. For me, my feelings toward my fiancé are not lust. His feelings toward me are not lust. Our feelings are rooted in love. That distinction was exemplified for me four years ago when I underwent the once-in-a-lifetime Pilgrimage to Makkah: the Hajj. This was one year after my mother died and one year after I came out to my entire immediate family, one of whom threatened physical violence against me.

Turning my gaze to the heavens in Saudi Arabia, the question I asked over and over during the Hajj was this: “I know who I am. I know that this is not a choice for me. How Do You want me to serve You?” The response was always, “You know what to do.” I kept responding in turn, “Then why do I keep asking?!” “You know what to do.”

On the most holy day of the Hajj, on the Plains of Arafah, I finally was given the insight that I sought, the words I waited for thirty years to hear. “If you love from the head or if you love from the groin, then gender matters. But if you love from the heart or if you love from the spirit, there is no gender.” Upon returning home the Hajj, I made the commitment to love from the heart, love from the spirit, and never look back.

In Islam, God Has no gender. Similarly, Love has no gender. Gender is obviously relevant for the act of procreation, but that’s not why I believe people should be partnered. Fidelity is critical for the wellbeing of any couple, family, and society. The respective genders of the couple are irrelevant, so long as there is faithful, monogamous commitment between them. Same-sex couples who wish to parent must surrogate or adopt, the latter a tremendous service to society.

For those who seek to condemn me for what they consider a lifestyle choice, by all means stand in line behind my immediate family. They did not attend my mother’s funeral because they could not stand the fact that she not only accepted me for living my truth, but also sincerely loved the man who is today my fiancé. Like a son.

For those who believe that I am no longer a Muslim, an Arab, a Palestinian, or a Dajani, simply move on and do not look back. I already have a Muslim Imam trained in al-Madinah who has agreed to marry me to my fiancé; I spoke with him this evening. I personally know gay Muslims, Arabs, Palestinians, and yes, even gay Dajanis. Not all of them are closeted. One is a fellow Muslim Arab Palestinian Sufi. He lives in my dad’s hometown of Jaffa today.

I will continue to speak my truth to bring peace to the Middle East. I will continue to speak my truth to bring unity to people of faith. If you seek to dismiss me because of my orientation, know that I have not changed. I am the same person that you have ever known, as long as you have known me.

So why the heck am I coming of the closet now? First of all, I came out of the closet ever since I started dating the man who will become my husband, seven years ago. I have only remained in the closet with the general Muslim, Arab, and Palestinian community, plus one Roman Catholic family that I hold in high esteem.

I am completely coming out of the closet now because I am not going to have a secret engagement or a secret marriage. I have no shame in who or what I am. I very much love the man who will be my husband.

My feelings are rooted in love. I sincerely pray that you have found or will find the love of your life. Praise God, I have found mine.

Thanks for listening.

Day 2 is to remember the Hebron Massacre of 1929. Though competing narratives abound, this singular event militarized our conflict. This event was born not out of hatred, but out of fear of the growing Jewish refugee community in British Palestine, identically how the Early Muslim community grew in Yathrib, as described in Heal Khalil Context Day 1. Let us achieve a warm peace and full reconciliation before the 100th anniversary of 1929!

Day 3 is for schoolgirls to hand yellow daisies and pink carnations to each other. Today, settlers attack, spit, and taunt Palestinian schoolgirls as they go to and from school each day. This comes out of fear that they themselves will be ethnically cleansed as a result of a two-state solution. Schoolgirls on both sides will find nothing to fear and the most important thing to gain by handing flowers to each other: safety.

Day 4 is for women to discover the joy of the Masjid Ibrahim aka the Tomb of the Patriarchs in Khalil (Hebron) as I saw among the men on both sides of the Divide. The Haredim were in bliss; the Sunni Muslims were in bliss. It is long overdue that the women of Khalil (Hebron) experience what the men have always experienced. And their daughters as well.

Day 1 to Heal Khalil takes us back to the very beginning of enmity/adversity between the Muslims and the Jews. This takes us back to the life of the Prophet Muhammad, Peace and Blessings upon him. When the earliest Muslims were being persecuted, both free people and slaves, the Prophet had them seek refuge with the Grand Negus of Coptic Abyssinia, now called Ethiopia.

There is a reason why the Muslim Empire and, indeed, the Muslim World today, surrounds but does not include Ethiopia. It is because, from the very beginning of the Mission of the Prophet, he made peace with the Coptic Christians of Abyssinia.

Later, all remaining Muslims in Makkah, including the Prophet himself, were at threat of pogrom — yes, I use that word carefully — by the pagans of Makkah. The Jews of Yathrib, 500 km north of Makkah offered them sanctuary. Refuge.

THERE WOULD BE NO ISLAM TODAY WERE IT NOT FOR THE GRACIOUS HOSPITALITY OF THE JEWS OF YATHRIB!

The name of the city changed later to Madina, Madinatun-Nabi or Madinat al-Munawwara, whichever you prefer. Respectively, it means City, the City of the Prophet, or the City of Light. Regardless, it was where the Prophet was buried within the Masjid Nabawi: the Mosque of the Prophet. Before the Hajj, I visited and placed hand to heart as I passed his grave. Please understand that the Prophet was born, raised, received his first revelation and died in Makkah. Yet, it was his wish to be buried in Madinah along with his best friends: the first two Caliphs of Islam: Abu Bakr and Omar, may Allah be pleased with both of them. I feel supremely honored to have visited his grave.

Makkah today is a travesty. The Saudi leaders are rapidly returning to their pagan roots by building seven star hotels to “build the religious sector of their national economy”. Instead of building these seven star hotels in the desert, with ample land available that they could develop using petrodollars, they are destroying the antiquities of Makkah whose roots go back to the life of the Prophet! The Ka’aba itself is dwarfed by seven star hotels just outside of it, very expensive seven star hotels. They prove a distraction when one prays within the Grand Mosque, the most sacred mosque, the most sacred place in all Islam toward which all observant Muslims pray no fewer than five times a day.

The very first “pet peeve” of the Prophet was that Makkah was a place of commerce for the pagan pilgrimage trade. It was not so much a place of worship as it was a place of trade. It was almost identical to the “pet peeve” of Jesus (may Allah be pleased with him) when he engaged not so quietly the money lenders in the temples of Jerusalem. The Saudis are returning to what the Prophet railed most against!!

Madinah, formerly the Jewish town of Yathrib, is exactly the opposite. The town exudes love, is calm, and simply beautiful. It is inconceivable that the town is in the same country as Makkah! I am not as observant a Muslim as I would like to be, but I could seriously live in Madinah today. If you are a Muslim, you are commanded to perform the Hajj once in our life IF you are physically, financially, and logistically able. Though it is not part of the Hajj, definitely visit Madinah! If you go do ‘Umra (visit Makkah) outside of the Hajj season, you will not fulfill the requirement, but visiting Makkah (and Madinah) will be at 1/4 the price, courtesy of the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia!

Islam grew in Madinah. The Message of the Prophet was heard and embraced. Islam continued to grow. The observant Jews of Madinah recognized that this Prophet was fulfilling prophecy from B’reshit (the Book of Genesis) even more directly than any prophecies presumably fulfilled by Jesus. “To the sons of Ishmael are promised twelve princes and a great nation.” This is written THREE times in B’reshit! The Prophet was well known to be an Ishmaelite! This was precisely why he was welcomed into Yathrib by the Jews. That persecuted man from Makkah in dire need of sanctuary fulfilled prophecy. JEWISH prophecy!!
My Muslim brothers and sisters, you will understand SO MUCH MORE about Islam if you read only the Book of Genesis, the first Book of the Torah. You will learn why the most sacred night in the Muslim calendar is Leilatul Qadr. It’s in Genesis!!

The more lay leaders of Yathrib were scared of the rapid growth of Islam though they had nothing to fear. Later in the life of the Prophet, he executed a treaty with the Christians of Najran of Yemen. The text is online for all to see. Toward the very end of the life of the Prophet, the Muslims re-entered Makkah and properly destroyed the 365 idols surrounding the Ka’aba. Everything else was spared. Not a drop of blood was spilled. No one was forced to convert to Islam. “Lakum deenakum wa liya deen.” (“To your religion and to my me religion.”) At the very end of the life of the Prophet, the Muslims and the pagans lived side by side in Makkah. No harm came to anyone. Today, both Makkah and Madinah remain cities closed to all but Muslims, but that happened AFTER the death of the Prophet, not during.

Purely out of fear with zero evidence of harm EVER coming to them, the Jews of Yathrib switched alliances and allied with the pagans. They attempted to assassinate the Prophet through poisoning his food. Like the story in B’reshit where Esau gave up his birthright because he was starving, a companion of the Prophet was literally starving. The Prophet offered his food provided by his Jewish friends, the companion gobbled it up, and right then and there…died.

Unlike Christians who are commanded to turn the other cheek, Muslims are taught to wage war in self-defense. The Jews were on the offense against the Muslims and the Muslims fought back. That is where our antipathy began. Even then, when Saladin the Kurd liberated Jerusalem from the Crusaders, he issued a proclamation of the Jews of the World to return. Many did with zero resistance.

My beloveds (yes, I’m a card carrying Sufi!), the Jews did not attempt to assassinate the Prophet out of hatred, but out of fear. Every quote in the Qur’an with antipathy toward Jews comes from that singular event.

 

Now, today, this is the time for Muslims and Jews to remember that it was out of fear and not hatred that the attempted assassination occurred. The Jews did not reject Early Islam. They feared Early Islam. And they continue fear Islam today.

Most Muslim leaders are not acting in accordance to Muslim conduct as commanded in the Qur’an. The desecration of Makkah by the Saudi rulers was painful for me to witness up close. I arrived in Makkah exactly one week after that construction crane several years ago tipped over and killed 200 pilgrims. Those cranes are so big and tall that they scared me as a pilgrim! Hearing about people being pushed off of buildings is nowhere found in Scripture. Stoning people to death is in Jewish Law but nowhere to be found in the Qur’an.

Today, Maryam is the most common name given to Arab AND Muslim girls. The Qur’an describes her as the mother of the Messiah, yes Jesus, and preferred over all women. We have a chapter of the Qur’an named after her! The Tanakh is nowhere near as charitable to the same amazing woman, mentioned more than any other woman in the Qur’an.

Hasbara teaches that Islam is a religion of violence. Indeed, much violence is perpetrated in the name of Islam by leaders who call themselves Muslim. Though we Muslims strive for one Muslim ummah, one community, we are fractured. Because of the call to violence by several and not all Muslim leaders, I pray that Wasatia — the Middle Path — will embraced not only by Palestinians but also the entire World, whether Muslim or not. Wasatia is completely consistent with Tikkun Olam: healing the world.

References from the Book of Genesis (B’reshit) per the Orthodox Jewish Bible translated into English:

B’reshit 17:20: And as for Yishmael, I have heard thee; hinei, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful, and will multiply him exceedingly; twelve nasi’im (princes, rulers) shall he father, and I will make him a goy gadol (great nation).

B’reshit 21:13: And also of the ben haamah will I make a nation, because he is thy zera.

B’reshit 21:18: Arise, lift up the na’ar, and hold him in thine yad; for I will make him a goy gadol.

The Muslim fast runs from dawn to sunset: from when it is time to pray the Fajr (Dawn) prayer to when it is time to pray the Maghrib (Sunset) prayer. The cognate in Hebrew for Maghrib is Ma’ariv. Though the time of Fajr depends on the time of year, it is on average 1-1/2 hours before Sunrise.

The Muslim fast is compulsory during the ninth lunar month of the Muslim calendar: Ramadán, which runs from 28 to 30 days, depending on moon sightings or astronomical calculations. There are other times of the year when it is encouraged to fast: Nisfu Sha’aban (the 15th day of the month Sha’aban that immediately precedes Ramadán), Yawm ‘Arafah (the most critical day of the Hajj, on the 9th day of Dhul Hijjah, the 12th lunar month of the Muslim calendar).

Many Muslims choose to fast for three months: Rajab, Sha’aban, and Ramadán (lunar months 7-9). Still others choose to fast on Mondays and Thursdays throughout the year. The only days where it is forbidden to fast is on the three feast days (Eid-ul Fitr, the Festival of Breaking Fast) immediately following Ramadán and the four feast days (Eid-ul Adha, the Festival of the Sacrifice) immediately following Yawm ‘Arafah.

Per the Qur’an and/or tradition: people unable to fast are encouraged to feed a hungry person for a day or a hungry family for a meal to compensate for every day of fasting missed.  I myself am unable to fast for health reasons, so I have volunteered with the Food & Friends organization in Washington, DC that feeds members of the community with terminal disease and are unable to leave their homes. That has given me more joy than fasting used to.

Anyone sick should not fast and are encouraged to make up the days they miss due to being sick before the next Ramadán. This is also true for people on travel. This is also true for girls and women who are having their periods. Women who are pregnant or nursing are forbidden from fasting and also forbidden from making up the days they missed. This is because they are feeding someone in need of food who is super precious: their baby (or babies).

There are two types of Jewish fasts: the major fast and the minor fast. The major fast begins at Ma’ariv and lasts approximately 25-1/2 hours: until three stars can be seen in the sky. The minor fast begins at sunrise and ends at Ma’ariv.

As I understand, there are two major fasts: Yom Kippur and Tisha B’Av. The minor fasts are the Feasts of Gedaliah, Tevet, Esther, the First Born, and Tammuz. Because these fasts are always a single day event, if you miss the fast for any reason, you miss it. Many, especially seniors, elect to end their fasts early, sometimes in the early afternoon. That typically requires local dispensation from their Rabbis.

For Muslims and Jews to “fast (together) like the Muslims”, they would fast from Dawn (Fajr) to Sunset (Maghrib) on any day other than seven (7) Muslim feast days and two (2) Jewish major fast days. For those who cannot fast, they would feed the hungry per above, but not delay when they would fast or feed the hungry.

Muslim dietary law, relative to Jewish dietary law, is simple.  Any food that Jews deem kosher is also halal, so long as it is meat-free and non-alcoholic. On the other hand, Jewish dietary law is complicated. What I write here will likely need to be amended. I will acknowledge all amendments, giving credit to each person who (first) corrects me on a specific aspect of kashrut: Jewish dietary law.

For Muslims and Jews to “feast (together) like the Jews”, it would need to be after Sunset (Maghrib/Ma’ariv) on any day other than the two Jewish major fast days. All food would need to be prepared in a kosher kitchen certified by a rabbi using cooking implements from said kitchen. No meat, grape juice, or alcohol can be served or used in cooking the meal. For certain parts of the cooking, Muslims and Jews can cook together. Cooking and feasting together would always be my preference over fasting, though that may prove difficult in Khalil (Hebron) due to the Separation Barrier dividing the relatively small town into Sectors H1 and H2.

Whether the food is served in a Jewish home or a Muslim home, it is best if all food is transported in plastic containers; e.g,  Tupperware, and covered as appropriate in plastic wrap. Serving utensils, forks, knives, and spoons should all be plastic while plates, bowls, and napkins should all be paper, whether wood, bamboo, or something non-metallic that was never used before.

My Muslim and Jewish brothers and sisters, please let me know if anything I wrote is either incomplete or incorrect. I am working to appeal to the most “orthodox” as practice either faith tradition in Khalil (Hebron).

 

 

The past 100 years brought mistrust. We share the same existential fear of the Other. Khalil/Hebron is the City of Abraham, home to SIX monotheistic faiths. In the most fractured city from the River to the Sea, we share the Abraham Mosque and the Tomb of the Patriarchs. One feels joy on both sides, but there is no joy for the space allocated for women.

Four Days will Heal Khalil.

Day One: Remember the Prophet.

Day Two: Remember the Massacre.

Day Three: Hand out flowers.

Day Four: Women take over.

Days One and Two offer women a choice: Fast like the Muslims or Feast like the Jews. They remember the past and atone for the present to heal their town forever. Almost like the five Jewish minor fasts, Muslims start at dawn. Dietary law requires no grape juice, wine, or meat. Muslim and Jewish women will cook in a kosher kitchen, then feast with paper and plastic in a Muslim home. Details are at my website: adajani.net.

Day 1, they remember the attempted assassination of the Prophet (blessings upon him) when Jews allied with the Pagans who sought to slaughter us all. Not out of Islamophobia, they feared the Great Nation prophesied for the Children of Ishmael three times in the Book of Genesis. Fasting and feasting will help them let go, let God, and move on.

Day 2, they remember the Hebron Massacre of 1929. This seminal event militarized our conflict. Not out of anti-Semitism, we feared we’d be ethnically cleansed. Let go, let God, and move on.

Day 3, schoolgirls hand yellow daisies and pink carnations to one another to and from school. Everyone fears they’ll be ethnically cleansed. Let go, let God, and move on.

Barriers come down for Jewish and Muslim Feast days. Each group has full run of the space, but for women and girls? Puny! Day 4, women and girls celebrate their own feast day to enjoy the whole space. Who doesn’t like a feast day with hamentaschen and qatayef?  Two caveats: no Israeli female soldiers and no men in drag! They will hold hands and pray as they explore their large space. The men will feel jealous, as well they should! Our women and girls will together forever honor their Nabi Avinu.

Repeat these four days until they Heal Khalil. Walls come down. Shuhada Street re-opens. No more dispossession. Everyone stays where they are. They cross from village to town with a last stop at Jerusalem, where women of SIX Abrahamic faiths pray on the Temple Mount. Our holy land will be made whole, because the women will show us how.

Salaam al’aan. Shalom achshav. Heal Khalil. I’m done.

 

At the top of my home page, I share that I am a mathematical statistician, a Middle East peace bridge builder, an interfaith bridge builder, a high baritone, an actor, and a Toastmaster. In my first blog, I share what the above means to me plus more there is to me, just as there is much that is unique in each and every one of us.

I am a Washington-based statistician. I have a Bachelor’s in Statistics from the University of Michigan, a Master’s in Applied Statistics from the George Washington University, and a Ph.D. in Statistics from the University of Maryland, Baltimore County (UMBC). What makes me a mathematical statistician is that I am a generalist who enjoys developing new methods while still being an applied statistician.

I especially enjoy tutoring people who are scared of math. My first hour is always free where I learn about the multi-dimensional identities of my clients, then tailor all of my math and stat examples to them. They learn that math and stat is not at all painful and can actually be quite fun! I enjoy working with students who failed their midterm and teaching them all the material in half a semester. They are typically fine if they merely pass the course, but I do my best to help them earn a “B”. This changes the way they looks at math and stat for the rest of their lives.

I approach Middle East peace and interfaith bridge building the same way. Instead of focusing on where we differ, I focus on points of connection and build upon what is meaningful to all of us. I established this website primarily to promote bridge building, yet am using it to share the other parts of my multi-dimensional identity as well. I tend to describe my aspirations in the language of the Other in order to build connection. I also use humor to indicate that I take my advocacy for tolerance and inclusion seriously, but I never take myself seriously. (smile)

What I do is not who I am. In terms of my vocation and avocation, I have described it above. Mathematical statistics and bridge building is what I do. Who am I? A singer-songwriter and an actor. I have written four wedding songs, including my own! I recently wrote a song where I sing, play keyboard, and sign in American Sign Language, all at the same time! Even more recently, I wrote my first comic rap song where I dress in a hoodie. Loads of fun! I bring music and even acting to work and bridge building. Music brings people together like nothing else. Bollywood melodrama presses points at a business meeting, generating more passion (shh) than I actually feel to earn wins at the worksite! (smile)

As you can see from this first post, I am brevity-challenged, I am left-handed, a free spirit, a foodie, and a wannabe travel agent.

I am a native of the Washington, DC metropolitan area. Give me a cuisine, a price point, and a location, and I will find you the perfect restaurant. It would be great to be a freelance concierge post-retirement!

Similarly, I am good at recommending vacation spots, preferably off the beaten path, where I give you suggestions as to what you can do after you arrive. Name a country, a price point, and what you enjoy doing; I’ve got you covered. A couple on my recommendation flew to Montréal and Québec City for their honeymoon. They stayed at the Chateau Frontenac and had a simply wonderful time. I have references.

As a Toastmaster, I have been trained in effective communication and leadership. I am less brevity-challenged orally than in writing. This is very helpful at work meetings! When it comes to leadership, I offer a few aphorisms:

1. Managers monitor tasks to achieve a mission.

2. Leaders inspire people to achieve a vision.

3. If you monitor tasks but do not wear an appropriate title, then you are likely overstepping your bounds and will be disciplined.

4. If you communicate well, serve your team well, and inspire others to take action, but never wanted to be the “big boss”, it’s too late. You are already a leader, because a leader wears no title as none is necessary. We can all lead.

I will stop here. Feel free to send me any constructive comments on anything you read. I will do my best to respond when I can.

 

Thanks for joining me!

True religion is treating others well.